Dan and Jennifer » Funny Humor Jokes

“My Name Is Carmen” – (Adult Humor)

Jennifer | Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 14 May 2009 17:33:44 +0000

A woman arrived at a party and while scanning the guests, spotted an
attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, “Hello.
My name is Carmen.”

“That’s a beautiful name,” he replied. “Is it a family name?”

“No,” she replied. As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents
the things that I enjoy the most – cars and men. Therefore, I chose
“Carmen.” What’s your name?”

He answered “B.J. Titsengolf.”

Paleontologists Discover Skeleton Of Nature’s First Sexual Predator (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 09 May 2009 03:47:21 +0000

ROFL! Ah, the first sexual predators. Well done, definitely worth watching. Enjoy!

Source: The Onion - Paleontologists Discover Skeleton Of Nature’s First Sexual Predator

Technigga (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 20:28:55 +0000

Guys, just saw this video by Loren Feldman (1938 Media) and it’s hilarious. Fair warning, it’s really non-PC so if you’re not ready for that, then don’t watch it.

If this truly offends you, then you take yourself too seriously. I used to take myself too seriously years ago, but I’m much better now and life is much more fun.

Oh, and to offend everyone equally, here’s Weird Al with White and Nerdy on YouTube (not as funny, but you get the point).

14 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 17:33:16 +0000

Just got this from a friend and had to share. Enjoy!

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice!

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If they want fries with that.

4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions,
Switch to Espresso.

5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ‘For Marijuana’

6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is ’To Go’.

9. Sing Along At The Opera.

10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

11. When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream’I Won! I Won!’

12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling ’Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!’

13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, ’Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.’

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.